


Found what I was looking for (hint: it was you)

by BestDeadFriendsForever



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Fluff, Fluff and Smut, I wanted some fluff, I'm trans so Buck is too because I said so, M/M, Trans Evan "Buck" Buckley, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-08
Updated: 2020-02-08
Packaged: 2021-02-28 00:41:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22594945
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BestDeadFriendsForever/pseuds/BestDeadFriendsForever
Summary: Eddie could admit to himself that he spent an inordinate amount of time staring at Buck. But in Eddie’s defense- not that he really needed one, but he had one just in case he did- Buck was really pretty. He carried himself with such confidence and with more swagger than Eddie had ever seen on anyone- and he’d been stuck with some arrogant assholes when he’d been in the Army- which just attracted the eye. And did he mention that Buck was hot?I just wanted an excuse to write trans!Buck because I have had a week y'all
Relationships: Christopher Diaz & Eddie Diaz (9-1-1), Eddie Diaz & Henrietta "Hen" Wilson, Evan "Buck" Buckley & Christopher Diaz, Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz
Comments: 26
Kudos: 397





	Found what I was looking for (hint: it was you)

Eddie could admit to himself that he spent an inordinate amount of time staring at Buck. But in Eddie’s defense- not that he really needed one, but he had one just in case he _did_ \- Buck was really pretty. He carried himself with such confidence and with more swagger than Eddie had ever seen on anyone- and he’d been stuck with some arrogant assholes when he’d been in the Army- which just attracted the eye. And did he mention that Buck was hot?

Eddie had just finished changing his clothes for his shift and he was trying to undo the knot that Christopher had tied into the laces of his boots so he could put them on, when Buck came in with his duffle bag casually thrown over his shoulder and headphones in his ears. Eddie gave him a short wave, Buck’s responding grin making the tips of Eddie’s ears burn, before trying to go back to his boots. Though he found his eyes drifting back up to where Buck was pulling his uniform on.

It was a familiar sight, Buck getting ready for work, but Eddie couldn’t help but find his eyes glued to the sight of where Buck was rifling through his bag for his uniform shirt. Eddie just flicked his eyes over Buck without much thought behind the action. Buck had legs for days and his pants only emphasized that. His hipbones were sharp despite the soft curve of Buck’s waist and the smooth line of muscle that moved fluidly as Buck dug around for his shirt. It must have been a slight shift in lighting or maybe Eddie just hadn’t stared at Buck this intently before, but he noticed that Buck had a- admittedly very faint- scar across his chest. When Buck’s eyes flicked up, Eddie immediately jerked his gaze back down to his boots to avoid getting caught. He totally had been though. He could feel his ears getting red as he heard Buck huff out a short laugh.

Eddie jerked the knot out of his laces before sliding his boots on and doing them up as quickly as possible. He tugged to make sure they were on securely before quickly making his exit from the locker room. He really didn’t want Buck asking him any questions right now, and despite Buck’s loud claims that he had no shame, Eddie knew that he’d never call Eddie out in front of the whole 118.

…..

Throughout the shift, Eddie thought about various injuries or potential surgeries that could have caused that kind of scarring on Buck’s chest. He was curious, and maybe just a little worried about it because it was _Buck_ , but he knew better than to ask. It would be rude. And it wasn’t like Buck didn’t tell him tons of stuff, he and Buck seemed to talk about everything. So, if Buck hadn’t told him yet or wasn’t planning on telling him, Eddie could understand and appreciate that some stories are better left unspoken.

Finally, their shift came to a close and Eddie’s mind had been gently guided away from Buck and towards having dinner and a quiet night in with his son. He made his way into the locker room and tugged off his uniform, wrapped up in his head as he mechanically stripped down and folded his clothes so they’d ride better in his bag. He pulled on his jeans and was fiddling with his belt when Buck came over and leaned against the open door of Eddie’s locker.

“Hey,” Buck said and folded his arms over his chest in a way that Eddie had come to learn meant he felt awkward.

“Hey, man,” Eddie said and pulled a clean t-shirt from his locker. He pulled it over his head and smoothed it down before sitting down and unknotting his boots. “What’s up?” Eddie asked and lifted his eyes before toeing off his boots.

“Nothin’ really,” Buck said and shuffled his foot on the floor in a way that tipped Eddie off that Buck wanted to talk about something but didn’t want to be the one to broach the topic. “You headin’ home to Chris?”

“Picking him up from Aunt Pepa’s,” Eddie said and felt a smile tugging at the corners of his lips. “Carla had the day off.” Eddie pushed his hair back from his face and then scratched at the corner of his eye with his thumb. He straightened up and nodded towards the door. “Why don’t you come? I’m sure he’ll be excited to see you.” Eddie’s small smile turned into a full grin as Buck brightened up at the suggestion.

“Yeah?” Buck asked and tucked his hands into his pockets, rocking on his feet.

“Yeah,” Eddie said quietly and tugged on his sneakers. “Hurry up and change.” Eddie stood and clapped his hand down on Buck’s shoulder. “Meet you at the truck?” Eddie asked and pointed over his shoulder.

“Be right there,” Buck said and stripped off his shirt hastily as Eddie closed his locker door. Eddie snorted a laugh as Buck shoved his stuff into his bag and then scrambled to tug out his crinkled shirt from earlier that morning. Eddie grinned as Buck wiggled into his shirt and didn’t even bother with his boots before kicking his locker door shut. He tugged his shirt down as they walked towards Eddie’s truck. Buck could pick up his jeep later like he normally did.

The drive was fairly normal. Eddie put on the radio and Buck either hummed along or turned it down when he remembered something he wanted to tell Eddie. The tension from the locker room had completely melted away after three minutes in the car. Eddie was grinning and laughing as Buck belted out some top-of-the-charts pop song that Eddie hadn’t heard before as they pulled into his aunt’s driveway and he threw his truck into park before turning down the radio. It was getting late and Eddie didn’t want any of Josephine’s neighbors complaining. “Be right back,” Eddie said and slipped out of the truck and jogged his way to the door. He stood on Pepa’s porch and knocked lightly before leaning against the siding.

His aunt opened the door and smiled at him warmly. “All in one piece,” she said and patted his chest.

“All in one piece,” Eddie confirmed and covered her hand to give it a quick squeeze. “And ready to take my son home and tuck him in.”

She nodded and glanced over at Eddie’s truck. The truck where Buck was still sitting, presumably listening to music by the way he was tapping against the dashboard. “Did you need some help with that?” She raised an impeccable eyebrow that had Eddie squirming like he was a teenager again.

“ _Pepa, no es a_ _s_ _í_ ,” Eddie said and felt his cheeks heating up at the way that she continued to watch him, narrowing her eyes just slightly. “He’s just a friend from work. He’s not- I-” Eddie’s cheeks were burning.

“You don’t have to tell me anything but be careful with that big heart of yours.” Pepa buttoned her lips as Christopher made his way over with his backpack on his back.

Eddie grinned as he knelt down to be level with his son. “You ready to head home, kid?” Eddie asked and swiped his thumb over Christopher’s wrist.

“Yeah.” He looked over at Eddie’s truck and his bright smile warmed Eddie’s whole body. “Buck!” Eddie looked over to see Buck jump and then look over at them before breaking into a smile and waving at Chris.

“Thought we could have a boys’ night with Buck. You good with that?” Eddie asked and laughed as Chris nodded enthusiastically. “Then we better hit the road, huh?”

“Let’s go,” Christopher said and Eddie put a hand on Chris’s shoulder to stop him.

“Thank _tía_ for looking after you today,” Eddie reminded him and Christopher turned around and threw his arms around her waist, mumbling a thank you into her shirt. She smiled at him softly and rubbed his back.

“Go on and have fun with your dad and Buck then.” She patted his back and smoothed his hair back from his face.

Eddie mouthed a thank you to her as he and Christopher made their way back to Eddie’s truck. Buck hopped out and opened up the backseat door for Christopher and they got Chris situated before getting back in Eddie’s truck and heading to the Diaz house.

…..

Eddie relaxed back against the couch and stretched his arms over his head before setting them over the back. He was between Buck and a sleeping Chris- who was slumped over Eddie’s lap- on the couch and he couldn’t imagine another place that he’d want to be. They’d cooked dinner and Christopher had begged to be allowed to watch a movie before bed despite the yawns that he was letting out every now and then. Eddie had agreed knowing that Chris wasn’t going to make it until the end.

“I should put him into bed,” Eddie whispered as he gently smoothed back Chris’s wild hair.

“Yeah, don’t let me stop you,” Buck said just as quietly and grabbed for the remote so that he could pause the movie as Eddie gathered Christopher up and carried him to bed. He made sure that when he tucked Chris in that he didn’t jostle him too much. His son had inherited his tendency to be a light sleeper.

“Night, kid,” Eddie said softly and brushed a kiss to Chris’s forehead before bumping his nose against Christopher’s curls and making his way out of the room as quietly as possible. He left the door cracked as he walked back out to the living room where Buck was fiddling with the remote. “He’s out like a light,” Eddie said and sat back down in his previous spot with his thigh pressed against Buck’s.

“I should probably go. So I don’t wake him up. And let you get some sleep too,” Buck said and Eddie felt some of that tension rising again. Before he really thought about it, he touched Buck’s wrist, effectively stilling his fidgeting.

“We can… at least finish the movie,” Eddie said and pulled his hand back. His awkwardness and the heat in his cheeks and ears was worth the small smile that Buck quirked.

“Alright. Alright, yeah,” Buck said and ducked his head. “Not that long left on it anyway.” Buck pressed play and then they settled again to finish it.

It was hard for him to admit to himself, but Eddie couldn’t help but think that it was nice to have someone again. Buck was warm against his side where their thighs and shoulders were pressed together despite the glaring amount of space that was available on the couch. It had been a while since he’d had that. Since before Shannon left- Eddie shut that thought down immediately and he didn’t realize that he’d tensed up until Buck tapped a finger against his thigh. “Hey, Earth to Eddie.”

“Huh?” Eddie looked over and he felt his stomach flip-flop at the concern shining out from Buck’s clear blue eyes.

“You alright?” Buck asked and Eddie was hyperaware of Buck not moving his hand from Eddie’s leg.

“Yeah, just… thinking,” Eddie finished lamely.

“About?”

Eddie chewed his lip and debated answering for a moment. “About how nice it is- having someone. Just… having another person here.” Eddie couldn’t look Buck in the eye, and he let his eyes drop to Buck’s hand. Buck’s hand twitched like he thought of moving it away but then didn’t. “It’s been a while since I had that- _we_ had that.” Eddie lifted his head to glance down the hall towards Christopher’s bedroom. “I didn’t realize how much I missed it.” Eddie looked back at Buck and Buck was just watching him.

“You don’t have to be alone, Eddie,” Buck said carefully, and his fingers pressed a little into Eddie’s leg.

“I’m not. Not anymore. I’ve got you,” Eddie said and quirked a small smile when a blush crawled across Buck’s cheeks.

It might have been impulsive. It might have been too much too soon since everything was so new and tentative, but Eddie leaned in a little and his heart caught in his chest as Buck did too. Their noses bumped together and Eddie was about to just lean forward that last little bit and kiss Buck, when he heard a soft shuffling.

“Daddy?” Christopher called with an obviously sleepy tone to his voice.

They sprung apart like they’d been burned and Eddie was up and heading towards Chris before he knew what he was doing. Eddie knelt down and took Chris’s hands in his. “What’s going on? You okay?” Eddie asked and swiped his thumbs over the backs of his son’s hands.

“Did you tuck me in?” Christopher asked and rubbed his eyes tiredly.

“Yeah, I did,” Eddie said. “It’s past your bedtime.” Christopher hummed and so Eddie just huffed a laugh and lifted him up. “C’mon, let’s get you tucked in again. How’s that sound?”

“Good,” Christopher mumbled as he pressed his face into Eddie’s neck. He was mostly asleep again before Eddie was tucking him back into his bed. Eddie sat for a moment and just waited to make sure Chris was out before standing and making his way out to the living room. He opened his mouth to apologize to Buck, but Buck wasn’t there. Eddie’s stomach twisted and he felt awkward as he glanced around and noticed that Buck’s boots weren’t by the door where he’d left them and his jacket wasn’t thrown over the back of one of the chairs.

“Shit,” Eddie muttered and scrubbed a hand over his face.

…..

Eddie and Buck seemed to be dancing around each other for a while after that and the rest of the team was starting to notice. Hen gave Eddie a look when Eddie came up into the loft and Buck all but rocketed out of his seat with some excuse of checking supplies in the truck- something Buck constantly whined about doing when Bobby told him to do. “What?” Eddie asked when he couldn’t stand the look for any longer.

“Something happen that the rest of us should know about?” Hen asked.

“No,” Eddie said dully and Hen hummed skeptically. Eddie just shrugged, forcing himself to keep it looking casual, before carrying his coffee mug over to the sink to rinse it out.

“Well, whatever _didn’t_ happen… you better fix it,” Hen said firmly. Eddie tensed. He didn’t like ultimatums and he didn’t like feeling cornered. “Buck won’t admit it, but he’s sensitive and whatever _wasn’t_ said or done- it’s going to eat him alive and he’ll just sit and take it without opening his mouth.”

Eddie let out a breath and he quirked a small smile. “Of everyone that I would have thought would give me the shovel talk for Buck, I didn’t think it would be you,” Eddie said trying to lighten the mood. Hen snorted and rolled her eyes.

“Oh trust me, if I was giving you the shovel talk you wouldn’t be cracking jokes about it afterwards.” Hen gave him a stern look that reminded Eddie of his Aunt Pepa a little too much.

“I’ll fix it,” Eddie mumbled before leaving his mug in the sink and going after Buck. He found Buck sitting in the locker room with his head bowed nearly to his knees. “Buck… can we talk?” Eddie asked softly and crossed his arms over his chest.

Buck jerked upright and he flicked his eyes to the door that was behind Eddie. “Uh… about what, man?” Buck asked and stood up. He didn’t take any steps towards the door, but it he had that look in his eyes that Eddie recognized as the ‘Buck Wants to Bolt’ face. It wasn’t a common expression, but Eddie had seen it in bars when Buck got trapped in conversations with overly drunk and flirty patrons that couldn’t take a subtle ‘no’.

“The other night,” Eddie said softly and he tried not to fidget when Buck wouldn’t look him in the eye.

“Just forget it ever happened. No big deal,” Buck said and tried to shove past Eddie. Eddie caught his elbow and that’s when Buck looked at him, eyes wide and a flicker of something behind his eyes.

“And if I don’t want to forget it?” Eddie asked and flicked his eyes down to Buck’s lips.

Buck sucked in a breath and before either of them could say anything or move, the alarm was blaring and Eddie was having to drop Buck’s arm so they could go out on the call. An apartment complex had caught fire and they were needed to sweep the building and help to guide people out. Bobby sent Eddie and Chim over to start triage with the victims that had already managed to escape while he and Buck were going inside. Hen would coordinate from outside.

Eddie’s hands were full and his mind was racing- as it always did- as he went about cataloguing and treating the injuries from most critical to least. He was looking over a teenaged boy with a few cuts on his head when the crowd let out a gasp. Eddie and Chim both whipped around to see a section of one of the upper floors start to collapse.

Hen was talking into her radio and Chim turned the volume back up on his so the two of them could listen as they worked. Hen’s voice crackled across the line, calling for a check-in, and Bobby’s voice responded saying that he and Buck had been separated by the wreckage. Buck’s voice never responded. Eddie’s mouth went dry and he couldn’t help but glance over at the building.

Once he and Chim were done, Eddie moved over to Hen, pulling off his medical gloves and grabbing his helmet and gloves from the truck. “Let me go in,” Eddie said and he clenched his jaw. “Or at least go around to check the back for any exits that Buck could use.”

“The structure’s not sound,” Hen said despite it being obvious. “You can check around the back, but don’t go in after him.” Hen gave him a glare and Eddie pulled on the rest of his gear before hurrying around the back. He passed Bobby as Bobby made his way out of the side entrance that emptied into the alley.

“Diaz! Where are you going?” Bobby asked as he shifted his grip on the man slumped against his side.

“Checking around the back for any other exits!” Eddie called over his shoulder and didn’t stop his sprint towards the back. He had to knock in a flimsy gate to access the back and he wanted to curse at the only exit being up in the air from where there was clearly a missing section of fire escape. “Diaz to Wilson,” Eddie said into his radio, “the back fire escape is out and there’s no safe exit.” Eddie let go of the call button and he felt his breathing pick up before he continued. “Any word from Buck?”

“Understood, and not yet,” Hen’s voice crackled across the line. Eddie took a step back and tried to scan his eyes over each of the smoke-clouded windows to see if he could catch any movement that would indicate Buck’s location.

“Dammit, Buck,” Eddie mumbled to himself and he was just about to sprint towards the front so he could check the side of the building when there was movement by one of the windows. Then the glass was bursting outwards and then two people- one adult and one that looked to be a child- were climbing out onto the fire escape. Eddie’s throat constricted as his heart leapt up. He fumbled his radio and held the call button. “Get me a ground ladder. I’ve got eyes on Buck.”

It took a few moments before Chim and Bobby were carrying the ladder and together they managed to get it into a safe position against the fire escape. Buck clambered down the ladder with the kid- and it was a kid- clinging to his front. Eddie breathed a sigh of relief once Buck was firmly on the ground.

They made their way around to the front again so Chim could check out the little girl that Buck had wrapped up in his turnout jacket. Eddie tugged Buck to sit down on the curb so he could look Buck over himself.

“I’m fine,” Buck said with fond exasperation but complied with Eddie’s tests.

“You were in a building that collapsed. And you took off your turnout gear in a fire,” Eddie said tensely as he took a gentle hold of Buck’s gloved wrist so he could look for any cuts or burns underneath the layer of soot.

“Didn’t want her to get hurt,” Buck said as if it were the easiest thing in the world.

“Just don’t make a habit of it. Not sure my heart would be able to take the strain,” Eddie said and he turned Buck’s arm so that he could see the back.

“You were worried about me?” Buck asked teasingly as he slipped his arm from Eddie’s grasp so that his hand was in Eddie’s.

“Yeah, I was,” Eddie said and chewed the inside of his lip. He stroked his thumb over Buck’s hand and then Buck was grinning and going to lean in.

“Not on the job, boys,” Bobby said and Eddie felt a blush coloring the back of his neck as he pulled away. Bobby patted Buck’s shoulder and Buck made a face at Bobby’s back before pulling away.

“Come on,” Buck said and tugged Eddie to his feet. Eddie nodded but he didn’t pull his hand out of Buck’s as they gathered up their gear and headed back to the truck.

…..

Eddie tried not to fidget with his clothes, but he couldn’t help but try to smooth them down and fix his hair when he caught sight of himself in the hall mirror. “You look fine. And I mean fine as in _fine_ not fine as in eh, fine.” Eddie cracked a small smile at Carla and shook his head to cover it.

“I just want things to go right.” Eddie shoved his hands into his back pockets.

“Listen, Eddie,” Carla said and fixed him with one of her patented looks, “if Buck wasn’t already head over heels and completely sure about this before- which he totally is by the way- he wouldn’t have said yes. And you wouldn’t be sitting here worrying over your stupidly perfect hair.” Eddie laughed at that and she smiled at him. “It’s not like you’re starting something new. Buck knows you better than most anybody, he knows Christopher and Christopher likes him. So take a deep breath.”

Eddie nodded and took in a breath before letting it out. “Thank you. And if you need to go just call my Abuela or Pepa and they can come over and look after Chris. I know you’ve got-” Carla held up a hand and shook her head.

“Just get outta here.” She shoved at Eddie’s shoulder and Eddie grinned.

“Alright.” He walked over to where Christopher was doing his homework at the table and he pressed a kiss to the top of his head. “You behave, okay? I’ll be home tonight.” He pressed another smacking kiss to Chris’s cheek and Christopher laughed as he pushed at Eddie’s jaw.

“Tell Buck I said ‘hi’,” Christopher reminded seriously and Eddie nodded.

“I won’t forget.” Eddie went to the door and grabbed up his keys and his wallet before tugging on his shoes. He gave Christopher one last wave and Chris impatiently waved him towards the door. Eddie shook his head and made his way out to his truck. He had told Buck that he would pick him up for their dinner date.

Despite everything that Carla had said and the fact that it was _Buck_ , Eddie felt his stomach twisting itself into nervous knots. He hadn’t been on a proper date in a while. Before Shannon. Eddie’s gut twisted in a different way at the thought. He pulled up to the curb and tucked his hands underneath his thighs after parking. He sucked in a shaky breath and got out of the truck.

He made his way up to Buck’s door and he shook his hands out before he reached up to knock on the door. He leaned against the wall as he waited for Buck to open the door. The door swung open and Buck was standing there with a huge smile. “Hey.”

“Hey,” Eddie said with a matching grin and flexed his hands at his sides. “You ready?” Eddie asked and nodded over his shoulder towards the truck.

“Yeah.” Buck said and leaned over to grab up his keys and his jacket. “C’mon.”

…..

Buck laughed so hard that he snorted and it made a laugh burst out of Eddie at the sound. Eddie covered his mouth as a few people glanced at them from their tables. Buck seemed to notice too because he pulled the collar of his shirt up over his mouth. Eddie couldn’t stifle the grin on his face and he let his hand drop as he moved his empty plate to the side.

“It’s getting pretty late,” Buck pointed out and he messed with his watch a little. “Past Chris’s bedtime for sure.”

“Carla said she was good to put him to bed and watch him for a bit,” Eddie said. He didn’t love missing Christopher’s bedtime routine, but this was important to him too. And with Buck’s smile, he knew that Buck knew that too. He chewed his lip and tipped his head towards the door. “You wanna get outta here?”

Buck’s smile was soft and hesitant. “Yeah.”

Eddie stood and picked up the check from where their waiter had left it and sent Buck a wink. He paid and then held out his hand for Buck’s. Buck slipped his fingers through Eddie’s and gave his hand a gentle squeeze as they made their way to Eddie’s truck. They took the long way back to Buck’s place. They didn’t say much, just listened to the soft hum of the radio and the swish of the car as it moved, but it was nice. Silences between him and Buck almost never felt awkward unless something had happened between them, they just were.

He rolled to a stop at the curb and put the truck in park. “Here we are.” Eddie put his hands in his lap and gave Buck a small smile.

Buck chewed his lip for a moment before he shifted into the middle seat, his hand coming to rest on Eddie’s knee. Eddie angled his body towards Buck’s and they both leaned in for a tentative kiss.

The first one was just a brush of lips, but then Buck was leaning further into it and Eddie certainly wasn’t going to be the one to pull away. He cradled the back of Buck’s neck and despite the cramped quarters of the cab, he shifted closer. Buck pulled away and he bumped their noses together with a grin that Eddie could feel against the corner of his mouth.

“Come inside,” Buck said quietly and he gave Eddie a soft smile. “Just a drink and maybe some more of this.” Eddie nodded and kissed Buck again quickly.

They got out of the truck and Buck opened up the door and let Eddie step inside first. The apartment was clean and organized in a way that Eddie wouldn’t have expected from Buck, but it was nice. “Beer alright?” Buck asked as he shuffled towards the kitchen.

“Sounds great, Buck,” Eddie said and gave Buck a small smile as he shed his coat and tossed it over a chair.

“Make yourself at home,” Buck said and waved towards the living room. Eddie moved to sit on the sofa and he tucked his hands between his knees. Buck came in with two beers, already uncapped, and offered one to Eddie.

“Thanks.” Eddie took it and took a sip to occupy himself as Buck sat down beside him. He picked at the label where it was starting to curl away from the bottle. “I’m gonna be honest with you,” Eddie said and lifted his eyes to Buck’s, “it’s been awhile since I’ve done this and I feel like I don’t know what I’m doing.”

Buck watched him and then huffed a small laugh. “You know, we’re basically going to be doing the same stuff as we were before but now I’m allowed to kiss you and stuff without it being weird.” Buck set his beer aside and his amusement turned into something a little more serious. “I know you haven’t really dated since Shannon,” Buck said quietly and reached for one of Eddie’s hands. He traced his fingers over Eddie’s palm restlessly as he continued, “and I’m willing to take this as slow as you want. I know you’ve got to think about Christopher here too. So I’m good with whatever it is you want. I just… I just want to be a part of it.”

Eddie deliberately set his beer aside so that it was next to Buck’s. “I want that too. And I know that I’m gonna screw up a lot. Things are gonna be awkward sometimes just because everything’s new and I’m not so great at navigating this type of thing- you know that already.” Eddie made a face, remembering the time when he’d all but ranted at Buck about how complicated having sex with Shannon was while trying to hide her from Christopher, which had Buck grinning.

“We’ll figure it out,” Buck said and leaned in to press a kiss against the corner of Eddie’s jaw. Eddie turned his face into Buck’s for a kiss, the warmth and contentment sitting heavily in the pit of Eddie’s stomach.

It was hard to keep track of how long they were kissing until Buck was crawling into Eddie’s lap and nudging him to lay back on the couch. Eddie pulled away and sucked in a deep breath, trying to get his head on straight. “I thought we were taking it slow?” Eddie teased as Buck ducked down to press open-mouthed kisses against Eddie’s neck. Buck stiffened in Eddie’s arms and Eddie knew that he’d messed up.

“Do you want me to stop? Am I pushing-?” Buck asked and shifted like he was going to get up, but Eddie pressed his hands down against Buck’s waist.

“No. If I wanted you to stop, I would have said so. Bad joke with really awful timing,” Eddie said and grimaced a little. Buck kissed it away and Eddie leaned up into it eagerly, his hands rucking up Buck’s t-shirt to get at the soft, warm skin underneath. Buck made a sound against Eddie’s mouth that had Eddie shuddering. Buck pulled away so he could pull his shirt off over his head and toss it aside. It was then that Eddie remembered the scars that he’d seen earlier on and he pulled back so that he could just look at Buck.

He skimmed his hands over the curve of Buck’s hip, and he couldn’t help but grin at the tattoo that sat above his right hip. He pressed his thumb against it as he ghosted his hand up towards Buck’s shoulders. “Gorgeous,” Eddie breathed, and he broke out into a grin when Buck blushed, staining his cheeks and chest pink in the process.

“Stop,” Buck said and it was the only time that Eddie could ever remember Buck sounding shy.

“I don’t think I will,” Eddie said and he sat up so that he and Buck were almost nose to nose. There wasn’t much space between them, but Eddie could still smooth his hands over Buck’s chest, his thumbs catching on the raised scars and making Buck’s breathing hitch. Eddie chewed his lip and watched Buck’s face for a long moment before he spoke again. “You want to tell me what this is from?”

Buck frowned a little and he covered Eddie’s hands with his own. “Surgery, Eddie,” Buck said and it seemed like it was hard for him to get out. Eddie’s brow furrowed as he smoothed a thumb over the line again.

“For?” Eddie asked, wondering how it was that Buck was able to keep his job if he’d had surgery on his heart or lungs. Buck looked at him like Eddie had asked a particularly stupid- or maybe just dense- question.

“Eddie, I’m trans,” Buck said softly, uncomfortably, as he restlessly plucked at the collar of Eddie’s shirt. Eddie just let it all click into place and he felt a small smile tug at his lips.

“Okay,” Eddie said and ducked in to kiss Buck again, but Buck pulled back to stare at him.

“That’s it? Just ‘okay’.”

Eddie frowned at the almost offended tone of Buck’s voice. “Am I supposed to say anything else?” Eddie asked and put his hands on Buck’s waist to ground both of them. “I mean, you’re still Evan Buckley, the guy that I really like, the one that I trust with Christopher more than anyone.” Eddie shrugged. “I mean, if you think there need to be a conversation-”

“Nope,” Buck said but his voice was a little more watery than before. “I mean, you might need some tips and tricks when, or if, we go any further below the belt.” Eddie grinned at the blush that painted Buck’s cheeks.

“Alright,” Eddie said and nodded as he smoothed his thumb over Buck’s waist. “But you’ve got to talk to me, Buck. Tell me if I’m doing something wrong, tell me what I am and aren’t allowed to do. I want this to be good for you too.” Buck kissed him hard and Eddie made a startled noise in the back of his throat at how Buck was kissing him, fingers knotting up in Eddie’s hair. Eddie gasped into Buck’s mouth when Buck tugged on his hair and he tugged Buck closer, his hips canting up into Buck’s, the material of their jeans dragging against each other.

“Eddie,” Buck moaned against Eddie’s mouth and Eddie stilled, though he flexed his hands against the curve of Buck’s back. “I really want to have sex with you right now.” Buck’s hips rocked down against Eddie’s and Eddie’s breath caught in his chest.

“Me too,” Eddie said and rubbed Buck’s back.

“But Christopher…” Buck all but whined against Eddie’s neck before nipping at Eddie’s rapidly fluttering pulse.

“I won’t be able to stay the night, but,” Eddie bit his lip, his breath stuttering as Buck sucked on his neck. “ _Buck_.”

“Then we better be quick, huh,” Buck joked and his warm breath ghosting over Eddie’s neck and down the front of his shirt made him shudder.

“Bedroom,” Eddie said and he kissed Buck again fiercely. Buck pulled back and he got off of Eddie’s lap so that Eddie could stand to follow him. Eddie felt himself grin as Buck hooked his finger into Eddie’s belt and tugged him towards the bedroom. Buck leaned back against the wall and Eddie boxed him in as he leaned up to kiss him.

“I think it’s time this came off,” Buck said as he started untucking Eddie’s shirt. “It’s only fair.” He grinned and Eddie laughed as he lifted his arms so that Buck could strip his shirt off.

“Hey,” Eddie said playfully when Buck tossed it aside, “that’s one of my favorite shirts.”

“Shut up,” Buck laughed and kissed him again. His fingers were cool against Eddie’s skin as he tentatively explored. They made their ungainly way towards Buck’s bed and Buck broke their kiss to unbutton and shuck his jeans off. Eddie couldn’t contain a snort at the light blue boxers that hugged Buck’s hips and thighs. “Oh yeah? Laughing at my underwear? What’re you wearing then, Diaz?” It was a challenge and Eddie was weak to turn down a challenge from Buck.

Eddie tugged his belt off and let it drop before he shoved his jeans down and off, kicking them in the same direction as his shirt. He felt something hot spike it’s way down to his stomach as Buck took eagerly took him in dressed only in his black boxer-briefs.

“In my defense,” Buck said as he wrapped an arm around Eddie’s waist, “I hadn’t exactly planned on getting laid tonight.”

“Always be prepared, Buckley,” Eddie teased as he gave Buck a quick kiss.

“I’ll be sure to remember that.” Buck pulled Eddie impossibly closer and Eddie’s breath caught when their skin touched. Something electric and jittery running over his skin. Buck traced his fingers up Eddie’s side before shuffling back towards the bed and falling back onto it once the back of his knees had hit the bed. Eddie knelt on the bed and kept himself propped up over Buck, his thumb tracing over Buck’s cheekbone.

Eddie chewed his lip before ducking his head to kiss the tattoo on Buck’s chest to give himself time to think. He’d had sex with women- obviously since he had a son- and he’d even had sex with a few men, but he’d never had sex with anyone that was trans. And he didn’t want to make Buck uncomfortable with a ton of intrusive questions. But he didn’t want to screw this up. Because he loved Buck.

“Hey, I can hear you thinking from here,” Buck said and tugged Eddie’s hair, effectively bringing him back into the moment. Buck looked vaguely worried though was desperately trying to hide it. Eddie kissed him to reassure him and pressed in close to Buck.

“I was just thinking that I’m gonna need some guidance here, Buck,” Eddie said and pressed fervent kisses against Buck’s jaw and neck.

Buck nodded and he gently pushed at Eddie’s shoulders so he could fumble into the bedside table for a moment. He tossed a bottle of lube and a condom onto the bed and chewed his lip obviously struggling to get the words out. “I’ve not had bottom surgery so, it’s kind of like-”

“Got it,” Eddie said just to spare Buck from having to finish that sentence. He kissed Buck again before he shifted back so he was sitting back on his knees. He picked up the lube first and he tucked the small bottle under his thigh as he hooked a finger in the waistband of Buck’s underwear. “This alright?” Eddie asked and smoothed his pinky over the soft skin of Buck’s stomach.

“Yeah,” Buck said breathlessly and lifted his hips up. Eddie stripped off Buck’s underwear and dropped them off the side of the bed before leaning in to kiss Buck again, his hand rubbing Buck’s side soothingly as he just let Buck get used to the idea of being naked with Eddie. Eddie remembered the first couple of times that he’d been naked with a new partner and how anxious he’d felt about it. He could feel some of that anxiety buzzing in the back of his head in anticipation for when Buck wanted the rest of his clothes to come off. Buck pulled back and whined as he arched up into Eddie with an impatient huff. “Come on, Eds. You’re killing me here.” Buck was grinning and Eddie huffed out a laugh at the teasing tone in Buck’s voice.

“Alright,” Eddie said before he forced himself to focus on Buck and not on all the various worries that were bouncing around in the back of his head. Eddie leaned in to kiss Buck and he traced his hands over the inside of Buck’s thighs just to catalogue Buck’s reaction. He shuddered and Eddie could hear the way he sucked in a breath in anticipation. Eddie shifted his kisses downward towards Buck’s neck and chest and he couldn’t help but nip at the skin around Buck’s tattoos as he made his way lower. He brushed only the briefest of kisses against the scars on Buck’s chest- Buck squirming a little when he did so- before Eddie showily kissed his way down further. He wanted to very clearly show his intentions so that Buck could stop him if he wanted Eddie to stop. Buck’s hand fell to the back of Eddie’s head and he shifted his legs to accommodate Eddie’s broad shoulders. Eddie couldn’t help but grin against Buck’s hip.

Eddie took a moment to take stock. He pressed a biting kiss against the inside of Buck’s thigh as he flicked his eyes over Buck’s body. Buck made a strangled noise in the back of his throat as Eddie leaned in and tentatively pressed the flat of his tongue against Buck. Eddie took it as encouragement since Buck didn’t try to tug him off so he let his eyes slip shut as he went to work blowing Buck.

After a while, Buck pushed at Eddie’s head and his chest was practically heaving as he tried to catch his breath. “Eddie,” Buck said and he squirmed. “If you don’t come up here and fuck me, we’re going to have words.” Eddie grinned and he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand before pressing a kiss against Buck’s stomach. Eddie stretched over to where the lube and condom had been left on the bed and Eddie slicked up his fingers. He hesitated, unsure of where Buck wanted him but Buck guided his hand with a soft grin that communicated that he was grateful for Eddie’s consideration.

Eddie didn’t know what he should think in terms of body parts so he just watched Buck’s face as he slowly worked a finger into Buck’s body. Buck shuddered and he flexed his hips eagerly and Eddie used his other hand to press Buck’s hips down. Eddie pressed another kiss to Buck’s chest as he worked another finger alongside the first and Buck’s back arched off the bed with a moan. Eddie’s hips flexed down against the bed reflexively and the slight friction both helped and made it more unbearable.

“Eddie, please,” Buck tugs at Eddie’s arm, his nails having already bitten into Eddie’s back and shoulders. Eddie shifted up and he pulled his hands away so that he could hook his thumbs into his underwear and toss them away.

“I’m here, Evan,” Eddie soothed and it felt a little strange to call Buck by his first name, but Buck let out a soft gasp and Eddie felt himself grin. He ran a hand over Buck’s waist before he reached for the condom and pulled the foil off.

“Let me,” Buck said breathlessly and he sat up, deftly taking the condom from Eddie’s fingers before rolling it down Eddie’s cock, making Eddie shudder and bite his lip to keep in a moan. Buck took the lube from where Eddie had left it and slicked Eddie up even more.

“ _Mierda_ ,” Eddie breathed and let his forehead fall against Buck’s shoulder as the other stroked him teasingly under the guise of spreading the lube. He could feel Buck’s slightly smug grin against his temple as Buck pressed a kiss to the side of his head. “Lay back,” Eddie said and nudged Buck with his forehead. Buck settles so that he’s still propped up on his elbows and Eddie nudges Buck’s legs further apart so he can settle between them comfortably.

He strokes a soothing circle into Buck’s thigh. He opens his mouth to check in but Buck cuts him off. “Eds, I love that you’re being careful, but I just want you inside me like right now.” Eddie huffed out a laugh before he lined up their hips. He fumbled for a moment and grabbed one of Buck’s pillows.

“Hips up,” Eddie said and when Buck lifted his hips, Eddie slipped the pillow between Buck’s ass and the bed. Then he was lining his and Buck’s hips up, his breathing catching in his chest in anticipation, before slowly pressing into Buck. Buck threw his arm over his eyes and Eddie felt like all the breath had been knocked out of him as he shallowly rocked his hips as he worked his way into Buck. Buck was tighter than Eddie would have thought was comfortable, but Buck’s pure pleasure was etched into every feature that Eddie could see. Eddie dropped his head onto Buck’s shoulder when he bottomed out. His shoulders were trembling and he pressed kisses to any available skin he could reach. Eddie felt so overwhelmed and he closed his eyes and just mumbled softly against Buck’s skin. “ _Joder, te queiro mucho. Eres mi todo._ ” And maybe it was a little easier to admit how gone he was for Buck in Spanish.

“ _Yo también te quiero_ ,” Buck breathed as he pressed a kiss to Eddie’s jaw, making Eddie jump a little. He hadn’t known that Buck knew let alone spoke Spanish. “Now will you move please?” Buck pressed his knees against Eddie’s ribs and Eddie laughed lightly before rocking his hips into Buck’s.

Buck gasped and his arm fell from his eyes to fist in the sheets underneath them as he rolled his hips up to meet Eddie’s steady pace. Eddie bit his lip but Buck lifted a hand to tug at Eddie’s hair and he pressed a kiss against the corner of Eddie’s jaw. “I want to hear you, Eddie,” Buck all but whined into Eddie’s ear.

Eddie let out a startled moan into Buck’s shoulder before turning his head to pepper kisses across Buck’s cheek and the sharp line of his jaw. He felt sweat beading up between his shoulders as he thrust into Buck. His breathing stuttered and he made a low sound that he was sure Buck would be able to feel as well as hear with how close they were pressed. “So close, Eddie,” Buck said and Eddie nodded before he arched a little away from Buck so he could get his hand between them.

It wasn’t long before Buck’s whole body jerked and he let out a loud moan that had Eddie blushing. Buck clenched around Eddie and Eddie let out a harsh breath as he squeezed his eyes shut as he felt himself tip over the edge.

When he started to come down back to himself, he was hyperaware of where he and Buck were pressed together, both of their skin tacky with sweat. He shuddered as a drop of sweat rolled down his neck. Buck’s hands were stroking his hair away from his face and Eddie wanted to kiss him again, but he knew that he should since he’d gone down on Buck without any protection.

“You with me?” Buck asked and his voice was a little raspy from moaning so much.

“Yeah,” Eddie said and his voice sounded strained. “Hold on, let me-” Eddie lifted his head and he gently pulled out of Buck, noticing the slight wince, before tying off and tossing the condom. He wanted to settle back down net to Buck but one glance at the clock told him he shouldn’t.

“Need to get home?” Buck asked and he smoothed a hand down Eddie’s back.

“Yeah,” Eddie said hesitantly. He didn’t want Buck thinking that he was taking off just because they’d finished having sex. Buck hummed and Eddie could feel the way the bed shifted as Buck sat up on the bed.

“We can talk more later,” Buck assured him and pressed a sweet kiss to his shoulder. “I know this isn’t a ‘cum and go’ type of deal. You’ve got Christopher.”

Eddie snorted at the phrase. “What’re we seventeen?” Eddie asked as he moved to grab for his underwear. Buck just laughed and Eddie looked over at him as he pulled his boxer-briefs into place. Buck was flushed and a little sweaty, but he also had kiss-bitten lips and a few little hickeys starting to form. It was a sight Eddie could get used to. Though maybe in the future he’d be able to stay a little longer. “Thank you,” Eddie said genuinely.

“Anytime you want to have sex, Eddie-” Buck started with a cocky grin.

Eddie shook his head. “No, not that.” Eddie pushed a hand through his hair to get it away from his eyes- between Buck’s hands and him sweating it was falling out of how he’d styled it- before he tugged on and buttoned up his jeans. “I mean about me having a kid and about how well you’ve just taken everything in stride. I know it’s not the easiest thing in the world- especially the dating world- and I’m just… grateful. That you’re just so… _you_.” Maybe it was just Eddie was loosened up post-coital, but he didn’t feel so nervous to tell Buck how he really felt.

Buck’s grin softened at the edges. “Hey, I love Chris and that was even before I thought this,” he gestured between them, “was even a possibility. And I love how much you love him. You wouldn’t be Eddie if you weren’t a great dad.”

“I would kiss you,” Eddie said with a sheepish grin.

“Don’t worry about it, I had to sit through the ‘please dear God, Evan have safe and hygienic sex’ talk in my late teens with my sister. It’s burned into my brain.” Buck tapped his temple and sent Eddie a wink. “Let me at least walk you out.” Buck got up and pulled on his underwear and didn’t bother with his jeans, just pulled on a pair of sweats as Eddie pulled his shirt back on.

Buck walked him to the door and Eddie lingered for a moment before he ducked in to press a kiss to Buck’s cheek. “Night, Buck.”

“Night, Eddie.” Buck leaned against the doorframe easily. “Give Christopher a hug from me if he’s not already asleep.” Eddie grinned and nodded.

He felt light as he made his way to his truck and then drove back to his house. He tapped his fingers against the steering wheel as he hummed whatever song was on in the background.

When he slipped into the house Carla gave him a knowing look and Eddie glanced in the mirror to see that he hadn’t smoothed his hair back down, and that Buck had- at some point- sucked a hickey right under his jaw. He blushed like a teenager getting caught out by his mother as Carla gathered up her purse and put her coat on with a knowing smile.

“Thank you, Carla,” Eddie said as he put his keys into the bowl on the kitchen counter.

“Anytime, Eddie. You know that I’m here for the three of you.” Carla gave him a soft smile that Eddie returned. He felt a lot of things from Carla referring to him, Christopher and Buck as a unit, but all of them were good. “Goodnight.” Eddie waved her off as she stepped out. Eddie sat in the kitchen for a bit before he bit his lip to contain his dopey grin. He shuffled through his nightly routine and he was just about to get into bed when he heard movement and his door opened. Chris was outline by the soft hallway light that they kept on at night.

“Hey, _mijo_ ,” Eddie said softly and just watched as Chris clambered up into bed beside him. “Everything alright?” Eddie smoothed his hand over Christopher’s hair with a soft smile.

“Yeah,” Christopher said softly and he just burrowed into Eddie’s side. “How was your date with Buck?”

“It was really good,” Eddie said and he continued to just comb his fingers through his son’s hair.

“Good. I like Buck,” Christopher said around a yawn. “I want him to stick around. He makes you smile.”

“He does,” Eddie agreed and then Chris was drifting off and Eddie didn’t have the heart to carrying Christopher back to his bed so he just settled with his son and let himself fall asleep- his half-asleep mind thinking about how the only way to improve this moment was for Buck to be on his other side. He felt a small smile tug at his mouth. They’d get there. Eventually.

**Author's Note:**

> So I had a pretty awful week of people being shitty about me being trans so I wanted to write some trans!Buck content to shower one of my favorite 9-1-1 boys with all the love he deserves and to purge that ugliness from me. I don't really know when in the series' timeline this is supposed to take place, but it was just mostly mindless fluff with some sex thrown in anyway. Also I don't speak Spanish so everything is from translate and we know how that is >_<  
> -James


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